Don't Sweat the Big Stuff

Don’t sweat the BIG stuff. Unfortunately, I have had no other choice. The last several years has tested my strength and modified my character. You name it, it has probably happened in my world. At times, I drift through life on cruise control, when bam! I am awake to reality. Today, reality hit again and it resulted in tears – big ones and boogers. I have a lot going on, particularly with my little guy. There are days when you can’t be strong anymore, I am human. Without raining on my own parade, I realize that we all come with a story. We all have had trials and tribulations, some with a bigger impact than others. With each of these hurdles, the lasting effect is based on only one factor – perspective. How I may perceive a life changing event , may be different than you. Not wrong, just different. I have a friend (yes, she is still a friend), who questioned my parenting of a special needs child, stating she “could never “keep” a child with a special need”. First of all, she will be a fabulous parent one day and she probably filed this comment in the “foot in mouth” section. She, clearly, didn’t consider my perspective nor the entire picture of acceptance and mothering of offspring. She also didn’t realize how this SMALL remark, impacted my day.

When I think of my hurdles,I think of the SMALL stuff. It's the day to day, the ebb and flow of life. For example, my journey has included work for the Salvation Army. I volunteer for them several times a year, my favorite job –participating in home bound outreach. I am never surprised when I see the hundreds of volunteers every year, because giving back to the community is so rewarding- yet SMALL. However, you can’t help but notice a common thread – most of the volunteers have also been dealt their share of struggles. I am going to be politically incorrect, in saying, there isn’t a lot of Rich White Guys in line to work at the soup kitchen. However, there are plenty of families giving back, many of us who are repaying community organizations that helped us when we were down on our luck.

Personally, I do not write BIG checks for donations - I volunteer my SMALL time to the causes that show the greatest impact on the community. I worked for a non-profit for many years that charged $200 a seat to its annual dinner, a turn off. I never attended. I don’t need to be seen by Kansas City’s Elite , rather, the reward of SMALL gratitude is far greater.

I have always considered myself generous. After Chase was born, my DNA changed, my world completely changed along with my character and conscious. I am even more generous today, than ever before. Because I know the impact of kindness, firsthand. The first and most important way to give back is in my own home. Every Christmas, I create 50 index cards for Trent to use the following year. They say things like.. “Popcorn in Mom’s Bed”,“Stay up until 10pm on a school night” OR “Free Chore Night”. I think of all the things he asks for(and usually doesn't get), most are free, some are cheap. It keeps me on cue as a fun/creative parent and provides him the authority to use a card whenever he wants. He looks forward to this tradition every holiday and I look forward to seeing the look on his face at a impromptu “Popcorn in Mom’s Bed” night!

Another one of my favorite ways to put a smile on my kids faces is to display their artwork in a surprise spot, our kitchen cabinets! I have been doing this for years, it keeps artwork in good condition and off the refrigerator! When you reach for a glass, it is always a treat to see what artwork is displayed today!

Whatever your method of enhancing joy, I encourage you to put a SMALL smile on someones face. Please don’t do it because you feel obligated or its part of your latest resolution. Do it because its genuine. Make it part of your character. Character is what you give off, it is your whole picture, not just what you do when someone is watching!

xo Stacey