Sunny Days Ahead!

So, I am a bit delayed in my blog posting. Between sick kids and spring break, my “free” time is limited. For some reason, when I break out the laptop it is like Cat Nip to a toddler – he attacks it! Spring is in full force, Summer is knocking on my door! Looking forward to what these warm months have in store for my little family! I am embarking on personal change, as I recently accepted a full time (corporate) position…it will be a challenge, as I haven’t been in the workforce for several years!  Needless to say, it will be an exciting summer – I will be working a full time job and 2 part time jobs and raising these 2 munchkins – solo!

Regardless, summer planning has started and we are ready to add events to our calendar. I reached out to my ever-so-reliable Facebook family to chime in on their favorite activities on the cheap (my #1) goal!

I hope that you and your family find some new ideas in the list below!

BIG KIDS

My oldest (age 12 ¾) loves the Salvation Army camps at the Three Trails Center (Independence, MO) – these are fun, awesome, Christ driven camps (3-4) days for only $25! He attends 2 a summer (sports, music, etc.), must turn in applications ASAP to get a spot!
http://www.usc.salvationarmy.org/usc/www_usc_threetrails.nsf

Recently, Downtown KC started a bike rental program *a bit pricey, but a fun day! We have already planned on adding this to our big kid list, checking out the Crossroads - browsing Architectural Salvage and grabbing a sandwich at Grinders!

http://kansascity.bcycle.com/About/HowItWorks.aspx

http://www.aoarchitecturalsalvage.com/

http://www.grinderspizza.com/

My big kid has found that digging through moms old treasures is cool! We pulled out my old (very old) Cotton Candy Machine – lots of fun! We have started cooking lessons and browsed new recipes. Many of our summer activities revolve around education and life skills!

LITTLE KIDS

Independence Center has a train (aka choo choo) that chugs around the mall (all year long) – for just a few bucks your tot can wave at the mall walkers!

I rarely shop at the mall, but it makes for a great field trip. We also stop at the pet store (pray for the caged animals), take a spin on the (over-priced) carousal, and climb on the free play area aka Germ Central (then drench them in hand-sanitizer)

FOR THE WHOLE FAM

Anything at the Library!!!! We love Midcontinent and the KC Library

We are eager to go for a ride on the N KC railroad:

http://www.kcnrr.com/Welcome.html

Tour the Roasterie Coffee Plant

Tour the Harley Davidson Plant

Gage Center – Open Play

Science City

Coterie Theatre

Deanna Rose – A fun farmstead with playground, fishing and horse back riding – a must see for the summer!

Crown Center – Kaleidoscope (free, best for over age 3) and Burgers at Fritz’s (meal delivered via train)

Science City

Stroll around Bass Pro, picnic and duck feeding at Waterfall park (our fav) – located behind Bass Pro

Summer passes for Movies or Bowling (ex. $2 movie days)

Burr Oaks or any nature center – many in the KC area

Cool Crest – Arcade, Mini Golf, Go Karts(great Groupons and Coupons)

Thoughts from other moms

 Fleming Park - Get carrots and apples - feed the elk and buffalo! Take lunch, drinks, pillows, blanket, books. Have a picnic and reading party after. There are grassy areas near the animal enclosure. Cheap fun. Another good one is to take a hike. We have good trails near our home. Have the kids take pics. Or have them draw or write about what they saw when they get home from the hike. I sometimes use reading hours for "points" earned toward a bigger kid fave, like Summit Waves.

Think outside of the box – Last summer we helped a dog rescue lady by walking her dogs a few times per week. Free, helpful, super good for the dogs, good exercise for all of us, AND teaches a good lesson about "giving back."

OP Arboretum... they're adding new attractions for the kids... a big caboose/train station. There are paved trails, hiking trails, creeks, waterfalls, and a kid area. Free, or $2 admission... cheap, and you could do a picnic.

Feeding the fish at Longview Lake Marina.

A few great finds for cheap kids meals – I haven’t tried these but heard good things:

Red Robin

Pizza Ranch

Culvers – has an awesome kid’s meal!

**Our family is trying to reduce fast food, if anyone has suggestions for healthy food stops on the go – please let me know!

Our Favorite Desserts:

If you haven’t been to Glace, you are missing out! Excellent Ice Creams by Christopher Elbow (my fav – goat cheese and pretzel – heaven)

http://www.glaceicecream.com/

Another fav, are these delightful Little Freshie Snow Cones – like NO other!

http://www.pitch.com/fatcity/archives/2012/05/14/sweet-dreams-little-freshie-opens-on-the-west-side

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple websites with suggestions (some duplicates):

http://alphamom.com/family-fun/activities/50-things-to-do-with-kids-in-the-kansas-city-area-before-or-even-after-they-grow-up/

http://www.kckidsfun.com/outdoor-activities/general-outdoor-activities/

http://kansascity.about.com/od/entertainmentattractions/tp/KCFreeThings.htm

Wishing you Sunshine and Giggles,

Stacey

 

 

The Windows Are Open!

There has been a big emphasis recently on “paying it forward”. I love the underlying message and continually try to acknowledge others by doing good deeds.  As I agonize over parenting an offspring through the teen years…sigh…I was venting (begging for suggestions) to a friend “ALL I DO IS COMPLAIN”..I feel like I am constantly giving directional cues to my kids..”Do this, Do that”.  And, when I get a long-winded story about a friend crisis (at middle school)..I am known to say “speed it up!..you are dragging this out”. 

My dear friend made a good point, make your connections (verbally)…90% positive and 10% “other”. This struck a nerve, I had it all backwards. I thought my constant bitching was constructive (not!). He reminded me these are precious years and we WANT our kids to talk to us – we don’t need to complain about everything – pick YOUR battles. Wow. Simple. Yet, it spoke to me at the right time. The light bulb went on!

I have made a conscious effort to turn this around. At any given moment I might close the open kitchen window to make sure my neighbor doesn’t hear me rage about the melted ice cream found under the bed..UGH! Full Disclosure, I am not perfect

First, I took principals that I put place in my own life and incorporated them into parenting and social interactions. Several years ago, during a transformation in my own life, I was reading the benefits of Positive Thinking, Vision Boards, Law of Attraction, etc. All about positive energy – I am a big believer.  If you don’t know what this is all about..you should!

You can find more here:

http://thesecret.tv/thesecretbook/

First, I had each family member create a daily mantra, affirmation…Such as “God is first, I am a patient mother, knowledgeable student and devoted friend. I will take on the world today, and make myself a priority”

It may sound cheesy, but sometimes you need the internal push (self-compliment) and reassurance that you can make it another day!

Then, I went back to my positive thinking roots and realized that it all goes back to one thing – Words, the simple, the spoken.  And, I used a sprinkle of The Love and Logic parenting concept, using “empathy” first with your children (more on this later).  In your everyday conversations add empathy (validation) and compliments and watch your world turn around. The best thing, it’s free – yep, no cost for your kind words.

So, instead of getting caught up in the physical or monetary rewards to a stranger or even the ones you love, consider starting with the genuine, creative gift that we all possess. The Power to make someone feel on top of this world!

Here are a couple of examples from my life:

Trent comes home upset, ANOTHER middle school drama. After about 15 minutes of listening patiently, the bottom line was..”John was holding Sally’s hand on the way to the bus…and, I like Sally”. Gulp! My initial reaction would be…”toughen up, don’t worry about it – dude, you’re in middle school – you shouldn’t even worry about girls”. But, I slammed on the brakes. It obviously was huge to him. Instead, I replied. ..(Empathy) “I bet that really hurt your feelings, that has happened to me before too – I know how it feels.” “You are smart, funny and great looking there will be another young lady who comes along”. It is simple and small, but we connected and it was part of the 90% of positive conversation, not the 10% of negative.

I love the often repeated Starbucks story of purchasing a drink for the person behind you. I think it’s great, kind of the mysterious generosity – like Larry Stewart  who never reviled his identity but would hand strangers 100 dollar bills. How awesome.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Stewart_(philanthropist)

I like Wendy’s coffee..and make a habit of getting a cup  before class. Every morning there is an older lady – probably mid 70’s who takes my order and hands me my coffee. She is wrinkled, worn, making minimum wage, and still had a bright and welcoming smile. One morning, before speeding off..I stopped; I looked her in the eye and told her how much I look forward to seeing her warm smile every morning. It was obvious; I was the first person who said this all day. I found the reward just as great, as if I had purchased a 5 dollar coffee for the car behind me.

One of the most profound use and misuse of words that I remember is the day, I got engaged. I met my husband (now ex) when I was 18, head over heels in love. Three years later, we picked out the perfect ring and stuck it in layaway. I knew that one day, we would pay it off and he would propose. However, he surprised me and got it out early. It was Valentine’s Day, 1998 – perfect. Of course, like any newly engaged girl– I bounced relative to relative, friend to friend – gleaming, holding up my sparkling left hand! I will never forget the words, “is it real?”, “why are you doing this?”…the joy was not mutual. The power of these words still sting today- It reminds me of the old saying, “I may forget what you said, but I will never forget how you made me feel.”

It was a painful lesson in the power of words. I vowed to forever support any arrangement of love, always. You may be short, tall, African American, fat, skinny, Chinese, poor or rich, I will not judge you. If you are man or woman, and you have found love or companionship – I will fill you up with words of joy and encouragement.

This has spilled over into all avenues of support. When I see accomplishment, such a new relationship, job promotion or weight loss – I am truly happy. I will pronounce my words of joy and support. I will not mumble envy or jealousy.

We all strive to be better and we have all made mistakes, so turn your words in a new direction. I hope that this message on the power of words touches your world and that your 90% is full of greatness! I leave you with this (compliment)…thanks for reading my little ol blog! Oh, and by the way, your hair looks great today! (wink!)

Xo

Stacey

Mom, The Witch!

Although, my children may disagree - I don't drive a broom. And, I haven't taken a new spiritual path and discovering being a true witch. I consider myself, Glenda, the good witch. There are a few times a day when I bring out the black hat - Morning (trying to get out the door), Right when we get home (dinner, homework, etc.) and bedtime for Trent (making sure that he is sleeping and not browsing a electronic device.
Mornings are currently under experiment - I have found improvement with adding Curious George and Popsicles at 7am - who cares, it works! And, I get up before the kids to get ready. At least I "appear" together when I dart out the door with leftover Popsicle on my face. Hasn't really helped the situation that Chase's school has suggested "locking the doors" if you are late. Nice. Considering that I have to drive 30 minutes in morning traffic, the heat is on! If I find a trick to make it work, I will be sure to pass it on.
Back to the Witching, specifically the "Witching Hour". I stumbled upon a article recently, titled as such - as I quickly browsed to discover the Cliff Notes version - I realized, that I am a witch! Everyday, at 4pm, as we all make our way back to the "burbs"..it happens..tears, yelling, begging for food (usually candy, Popsicles, etc), phones are ringing, dishes need to be done - it all collides! Then, I realize that I need to check a school planner, assist with homework, give Chase a tube feed...all while someone is tugging at my leg screaming "OOD EE" - (aka..Woody = Toy Story). Shit. Forgot to let the dog out!  I am not embarrassed to say, I find myself extremely frustrated and quite honestly, I don't know where to begin. I am not alone, I'm sure.
So, I looked for advice on the Witching article and took a look at our house to make it more peaceful and put the broom away! First, I made changes without telling the kids, then I informed Trent, mid week. We all agree, its better!
First thing I do, Feed the kids - dinner! No snacks..we eat dinner between 430 and 5! Then, the reward for getting your chores and homework done - you get a dessert and "free time" before bed. Second, I stick Chase in the bath at 5pm - yep! 5pm - he is in PJ's. The bath and playtime is soothing, peaceful and organized play. It also give me time to check my emails and go through mail..the bathroom is my "other" office :) don't laugh.  Depending on the weather, I give Trent some time to unwind (bball) then its homework, chores and bath. The quicker he moves, the more free time at the end of the evening.
Last night, by 6..all baths were done, kitchen cleaned, and I was baking a dessert. It was peaceful and lovely. My number one goal is to be present with the kids in the evening. After they are in bed (early!!!), I use that time to catch up on work and reading. 
We have had the best week, we have eliminated the late night rush - by moving everything up a couple of hours! Every family is different, I rarely plan activities during the week, I like simple evenings! I have attached a couple of other articles on "The Witching Hour" - check it out!
http://simplemom.net/how-to-bring-peace-to-the-witching-hour/
http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/remedies-for-the-witching-hour/
http://www.momroad.com/2013/02/5-ways-to-ease-the-witching-hour.html

xo stacey

No Cans! No Cows!

Last fall when school started, I missed my dear children and prayed for a winter snow day in the season ahead. I had a vision of a white wonderland, snow glistening in the moonlight, board games and earmuffs…boy was I wrong! It was a similar story on day one and half way through day two. I love my children and cherish being home with them often, but we have been together in this house for nearly a week. Today, when the school bus came chugging down our street, I felt a pitter-patter in my heart. Trent is off, its just Chase and I today. So, back to blogging, I go. Somewhat encouraged by the friendly graph that Facebook shows, that reminds me that I haven't posted in over a week. Today, I type away, in between the contractors and insurance company arriving – sad to report my wonderful screened in porch, is gone. The roof collapsed from our heavy, wet snow. It was more than a porch. Sniff! Sniff! It was hours of elbow grease and money spent over the last couple of years to make it my perfect oasis, outdoor play area and summer dinner spot. Sad, but maybe I can rebuild. Enough on that. So, I think it's time to catch up on what I have been up to and torturing my children with over the last week!



    I kindly refer it as the "slight change", "no big deal", "just try it for a week" – as NO CANS! NO COWS! The entire process started about 2 years ago when I was trying to lose my baby weight. As, I have mentioned before, I have no "shame in my game" when it comes to my pregnancies. I get huge! After Chase was born, the HCG diet was popular. Basically, starvation, but the weight came off, I lost about 35 lbs. It was a good refresher on eating healthier, as the diet consist of low calorie, whole foods, and low carbs. Of course, over the last 2 years and a complete Hysterectomy, most of it has crept back on. No excuses, but it sucks. I have battled weight since my late 20's and tried all of the quick fixes, including Cabbage Soup, Weight Watchers and Slim for Life. I am sure that I have spent thousands dollars, including hundreds on laxatives – as Slim for Life was temporarily coined "Clogged for Life". Horrible! TMI? I know I need to lose 30 lbs.; Most importantly, make changes to our eating habits and increase activity. There is no easy way out.

    I have friends who exercise obsessively, purge, starve themselves – I am not envious. I do not want to have the body of a 12 year old boy. I want to embrace my curves, be healthy, active, enjoy food and not feel deprived. My goal is to increase my energy and maybe drop of few pounds. I think it is imperative to have good body image for your children, I NEVER complain about my appearance in front of my children, instead promote acceptance of what god gave you. Trust me; I know that if you see me, you may wonder why is she offering healthy eating tips? Well, I am not perfect, but I have made changes within my house that are easy and encourage better eating! Maybe one or two of them will be valuable in your home too! I am not an expert, but we meet with a Nutritionist a couple times a month..that has helped our family achieve these goals. She is great and promotes the same well balanced life style that I encourage!


NO CANS!
I went from 200 cans in my pantry – to less than 10! Get rid of them – fresh or frozen is BEST! The BPA issue is up for debate. I really don't care what others say - Anything that is preserved (including boxed items) can't be good for us – aim for FRESH!
http://ekowarehouse.com/2012/12/canned-food-the-dangers-behind-the-convenient-can/



NO COWS!
I have never been a milk drinker – except in my cereal. So, I am not really at a loss for this elimination. I am not trying to scare anyone and not trying to inflate the facts. But store bought milk should not be consumed. On a different level, I think that the milk industry and schools work together to promote this excessive consumption of dairy! Did someone say.. early puberty??? I cringe at mothers buying 4 gallons of milk…just say NO!!!!!!!

Milk kills cows. It is true – if a calf were to drink milk from our local grocer – it would die. Raw milk is best. Personally, we use Almond or Coconut Milk (it comes in flavors for your Chocolate Milk addicted child). They may protest the taste – but when there is nothing else to drink – they confine. A few years ago – I bought nothing but Soy Milk. Knowing what I know now – I wish I never did – Soy has its own issues!

This also means No yogurt, Cheese, etc. We are using the last of our yogurt and by the end of the week will be completely dairy-free. Full disclosure – Some people respond differently to Sheep or Goat milk products. I love sheep and Goat cheese- so I will probably stick to these options from local fromageries (cheese makers).
Why is this milk concerning? It is because of the processing AND the added hormones (very bad for men, women and children and your dog)

http://www.newsobserver.com/2012/02/22/1873497/labels-on-milk-give-clues-to-hormones.html


If you really want to be frightened – read this:

http://rense.com/general26/milk.htm



Sweeteners:
– NEVER USE ARTIFICAL SWEETNERS!!! EVER! Google the trick names they are using to slide these in your foods!
I love Liquid Stevia (NOT Truvia or anything powdered) – you can find this in a Health Food Store or Hy-Vee (Health Food Section). It will seem expensive, but one bottle last me almost a year. I only use 1-2 drops per cup of coffee, tea, smoothies. Also, an option.. Raw Honey or Raw Sugar – the real thing! Many people find Agave Nectar a great sweetener, I have never used it.



Coconut EVERYTHING!
Coconut is SO healthy for us! We use Coconut Milk, Coconut Oil (In everything), and Coconut Milk Creamer (for coffee). It is also a great moisturizer for your skin! The options are endless, invest in some!

http://www.naturalnews.com/036156_Coconut_oil_superfood_healing.html

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/surprising-health-benefits-coconut-oil



I CAN'T BELIEVE IT IS BUTTER, YES BUTTER!
Never, ever use margarine or any other fake "spread", Real Butter is Great, use often!



Limit or Eliminate Gluten- Your body will thank you!
Chase is Gluten Free – about 99%, Trent and I have drastically reduced the amount of Gluten in our diet. One of the things I notice when I do this – I have less swelling (water retention). We both have migraines, I have heard good things about Gluten Reduction and less migraines. Looking Forward to it. There are some great Gluten Free snacks – but not everything "Gluten Free" is great for you – watch the preservatives – remember the goal is less man-made foods!

Stay away from Sugar free, Fat Free – Full of Fake sugars! Eat Real Food!



Medications L -
We use ZERO daily medication in this house! I have an occasional pill for migraine relief – that's it! Get rid of them, unless it is to save your life – there are healthy alternatives.
I heard Dr. Hicks (and wife Betsy) speak recently – really like their approach. And, they offer Skype visits!
https://elementalsliving.com/services/holistic-pediatric-appointments-with-dr-hicks/

This is a link to the exact lecture I went to, very informative!
https://elementalsliving.com/2013/02/25/free-nutrition-lecture-by-betsy-hicks-download-now/



Supplements:
Keep it simple and effective. Use quality! I won't go into details on each – these are what Dr. Hicks suggest – more is found on his website listed above!
For everyone in the house! Forever!

• B12
• Probiotics – daily
• Multivitamin
• Cod-liver oil

Water!
Drink half your body weight in ounces or more!
I drink much more than suggested – but I love water! I usually drink about 1.5 liters to 1 Gallon per day.


Poop Matters!
You are what you eat! So, if your Poo time is irregular or abnormal – stop and look at what you are eating and drinking (Water??). Poo tells the whole story! Make it great! J

DO NOT USE MIRALAX – ever! It has a connection to Antifreeze – I'm not going to give my 2 cents – but this article should provide you with the info you need.
http://www.gutsense.org/gutsense/the-role-of-miralax-laxative-in-autism-dementia-alzheimer.html



Veggies:
Ugh! Painful for me – I'm not a big vegetable fan! But I love Cucumbers and Spinach. Find what you love and hide it!
I made meatloaf last night with Spinach – no one knew!
I made a banana and berry smoothie with a cucumber, the kids loved it!
Avocados are the best – eat them up! Full of great stuff!

These are the changes that we have slowly incorporated into our world. It has actually been easy! We eat great 90% of the time. I confess, we still have the occasional fast food in a hurry or scone at Starbucks.

My next changes are to eliminate High Fructose Corn Syrup and add even more Cultured Veggies through Fermentation (These are great for you!)
http://www.culturedfoodlife.com/cultured-vegetables/



Now..Go Eat Healthier!!!
-Sargent Stacey





 

The F Word

Friends...

People often ask politely, “soooo, what is wrong with Chase?", "How do you pay for all those medical bills?".  In the beginning it was actually entertaining to have the random (haven’t heard from you in 10 years) phone calls, emails and far-removed facebook friends inquire on my child's condition. I found it particularly odd that someone who you barely know is sending a message with the preface..”I know it is none of my business…but…”. Exactly, it is none of your business! I never was rude and always replied in a short and sweet manor. I was more drawn to the friends or acquaintances who approached me in the “I have a similar situation..let me know if you need assistance” messages. 

But, the thing that I remember most, is the calls that I never got. Yeah, Yeah..I know… it IS time to move on, and I have. But, I am sure that many can relate, when dealt with a personal crisis – sometimes you except more from people. Sometimes, you didn’t want the nosey questions regarding the latest test or surgery, but rather ask “how are YOU doing”, “do YOU need anything??”  Not pity, Not Sympathy, just geniune conversation. Then, a revelation..I was looking in the mirror at the person who I should have been relying on the most.

                I always joke that after the first year (the hardest) was past us and Chase started sleeping – I was finally a flower that bloomed. I was extremely sleep deprived. When I finally started to put things in perspective, I reflected on the first year and appreciated the true friendships that I made. I also learned to summarize his health in 25 words or less, because, I don’t have to explain his personal issues. And, I left my venting or questions for my friends that could relate and facebook boards specific to his diagnosis (es).  

                My delivery with Chase was torture, no less. I remember it like yesterday, whoever said that you forget it, was trippin! Not only did my body reach new heights in pain, I felt like I could surpass anything. It truly gave me a level of internal confidence. Just two weeks after his birth, I found that I would need to reach back to that space, deep inside my soul for courage and strength.  It also taught me a valuable lesson, I can only depend on me. I run this ship, solo. I can not expect the unexpected from those who are a part of my world, I can only rely on my internal motivation. This is said, not to discount the people closest to me, that provided strength and encouragement during these times. But, only to point out the internal transformation that takes place when a crisis enters your life. I truly think that my DNA changed, to put it a bit softer, probably a metamorphosis.  (Great article from Oprah on Life Changes)

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Strategies-to-Deal-With-Every-Phase-of-Major-Life-Changes/1

                I would consider myself a “good” person before, I am honest to admit there was a slight misdirect in personal confidence, empowerment and focus. I don’t wish this journey on anyone, yet, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have tested my own strength, and proven it to myself. I am a better mother, a better woman. I see the small things, appreciate the medium sized successes and embrace the large blessings.

In case you didn’t notice, medical terms were not mentioned in this blog. It is purely about the journey, most importantly, the selection. I have strong belief in faith and destiny. I was selected to be the mom of these boys, triumphs, tribulations, giggles and puke. It’s not perfect, even today, I have prayed for more strength – juggling it all still proves challenging.  This morning was tough, while doing a  tube feeding (don’t ask what is in it) it exploded in my kitchen  – at least 20 feet – at 8am (pre-coffee). I didn’t get in the shower until 12 and didn't eat my soggy cereal until 12:30. I’m sure that I will be finding green slime in my hair 2 years from now.  It wouldn’t have been so bad, but it also happened yesterday, and the day before.  I was tired, frustrated and out of gas (mentally..lol).  

When I want to recharge, Erma Bombeck lifts me up. This is my fav read when I need that extra boost of “come on Stace, you can do this!”

The Special Mother

**This is old, I replaced the word "Handicapped with Special Needs"

by Erma Bombeck


Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of special needs children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of special needs children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a special needs child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a special needs child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

xox -Stacey

 

Know the Sign!

Since most of my thoughts are about parenting, I thought I would share my best piece of advice for new parents – teach your child Sign Language! It is very simple and you can incorporate it into your daily activities. I started with Chase when he was about 6 months old, it was the best decision! As time went on, we realized that he had a speech delay, knowing the basic signs helped him communicate. Now as he is progressing with his speech, signing is a tool used along with speaking.

My tips:

• Never too early to start
  
• Sign in conjunction with speaking, simultaneously
  
• Use it for everything, consistently
  
• Use various forms of signing education; our favorite is Signing Time (Library or Amazon)
  

http://www.signingtime.com/index.php/?gclid=CMur3-mUvrUCFcZFMgodgRUAUQ

• Stumped? Attend Signing classes; here is one in Overland Park, Kansas. Of course, being the frugal lady I am – I can't justify the cost!
  

http://www.lovelanguageforbabies.com/

• If your child is receiving any kind of therapy - make sure your therapist is incorporating the signs that you are using at home!
  
• Acknowledge your child's attempt to sign, just like they are speaking to you. It doesn't have to look like the video, we respond to his signs regardless of how perfect they are!
  

I taught Chase signs that were appropriate "toddler language". I did not teach him signs for complicated things, we simply use signs for frequently used words: more, drink, play, music, bath, cat, dog, nite-nite, drink, eat, grandma, all-done, brush teeth, etc…

We also have found that using signs for other tasks has helped his speech. For example, the itsy-bitsy spider song uses hand movements. Chase will hum the song if I show him the hand movements, without singing. We often point to our wrist (time) to go wave (bye-bye). This helps them attach a gesture to a word.

Don't get frustrated, the biggest reward is when your child signs (multiple signs together) without prompting. We use about 15-20 signs frequently, at this point I have not introduced new ones, as his speech is picking up.

Until your child becomes a fluent speaker, signing can connect you to your little bean and understand what they want. Today, I was swinging Chase around in circles, singing and playing. As soon as I stopped, he would sign "more play" and say "mo pa". I know I made the right decision in giving him empowerment to communicate!

Here are a couple facebook pages with resources:

http://www.facebook.com/theoriginalbabysigns

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Baby-Signs-By-Erin/118773644814836

-Stacey

 

 

Binge and Purge

Today, I purged. No, I’m not in a 12 step program. I talked about this briefly before, but,  I have an obsession with Purging. Basically, it is the opposite of hoarding. I’m sure it results from many factors: Psychological (low attachment to material objects), OCD (my internal balance is based on my house being clutter-free) and thrifting (I like buying new items – so must get rid of the old).  Most importantly, when I am long gone – I don’t want to burden my children with a bunch of “stuff”.

For those who are trying to accomplish the same thing. My first point is remind you that it is NEVER to late to start and don’t get overwhelmed. Growing up, I had a closet the size of my current bedroom – really, I did. I used to have sleepovers in my closet. I was blessed with material possessions. In High School, I was voted “best dressed”, I’m sure this had something to do with this extensive wardrobe.  My closet today is about 1/20 of what it used to be (my small closet is only half full). It is true that you “wear 10% of your clothes, 90% of the time!”

 

                Clothes – I don’t spend a bunch of money on clothes (see my blog about thrifting), so I have NO attachment. Even my wedding dress(es) are M.I.A. !  When I let go of clothes, there is no resentment. I try to purchase clothes that are flattering and fit well (mostly basics). But, if I get an item home and it is not “becoming” on my beautiful figure J It is removed. If I have not worn an item in 1 year, it is removed. If it is too trendy or out of style, it is removed.  I follow the same guidelines for my kids clothes. Here is the secret, I purge – All the time!  When I am folding laundry, if I notice an item that fits in one of the above categories or a sock/undies with a hole – it is put aside.  Most of the time, I leave a plastic Wal-Mart bag in the kids closet and as they out grow things, it goes in this bag. So a couple times a week, I take the items that I have gathered and divide it up.  

For my clothes, I consign once a month. I actually don’t do “consigning”, bad luck with that. But, rather the stores that purchase while you wait.  I start with Clothes Mentor (really good luck with them) or Ditto (great results) and what they don’t purchase I take to Plato’s closet (trendy teen). For those of you in my local area, I have also had some luck with White Clover, but not too impressed with what they give for cash buying. Often, I get paid back more for my clothes, than what I purchased them for. It’s a win-win, and provides money for my next thrift trip! For my kids, I do well at Children’s Orchard (up to size 16). I only  go during walk-in hours and try to be the first one there. However, I rarely purchase at Children’t Orchard – I get more for my money thrift shopping.  I have been blessed with Chase, he gets hand-me-downs. And, due to the fact he is a slow grower, his clothes are worn well. I typically donate his items to a needy family or thrift store.  For those items that don’t succeed at a “consignment-type” shop, I donate to my local thrift store. I am careful to always get a receipt for my donation AND a coupon for 25% my next purchase.  I tend to donate at Salvation Army or D.A.V. The store Savers has a punch card type program, that offers big incentives for donation. However, I find that their items are high priced, so I don’t really save in the long run.

                Kids Toys/Household Items – Usually go on Craigslist, if they have value OVER $10. Of course, I encourage everyone to use Craigslist safety measures – I have had a couple of interesting customers!  One of my favorite places to Donate is the W.O.W. Ministry Thrift Store. I don’t get a coupon, but it is a good organization, doing great things for the community. They also offer good prices, so I enjoy giving them my business. If my kids are not using it, it is gone. We keep what they play with, not what has sentimental value.

                Papers – I open my mail OVER the trash can. I keep a very minimal amount of paperwork. I have never had to find an item that I didn’t have. I keep taxes, car and house papers.  After I read a magazine or book, I get rid of it. I have a collection of my 10 favorite books, the kids have 3 small book shelves. We utilize the library often, it keeps their interest AND we don’t have to store them! I own 2 cookbooks, if I need a recipe, I look online. For bills, etc. I keep a very small basket of important documents. When it’s time to get rid of books,  I sell at “Half Priced Books” first. They pay low, but it’s better than nothing. What I have left, I donate.

                Holiday Crap / Memorabilia – I like to decorate for the holidays, however, I don’t want to store the festive junk! So, I have the typical plastic bins marked 3 holidays to a tub. Christmas has 3 tubs, but still minimal.  As far as Memories, I do keep a couple of things. I pick out a few of my favorite things for a  “Stacey Box”, which includes stuff from my first 35 years – and a “Kids Box”, I keep one outfit from the their infancy, a few favorite pieces of artwork and Baptism items. My mom still has my lost teeth. Nice.

                Kitchen/Bath- My makeup drawer used to look like the MAC counter. Now, it is only what I use – nothing more. This has also came with learning what my favorite items are, I use what I love and use it until it is gone. My linen closet, has only the towels that we need. I have one box of medications and 1 box of misc. bath items. I have one set of sheets for my bed, when those go bad ..I donate and buy another. See the pattern?  I do not overstock anything, except toilet paper and diapers!

I have heard every excuse from those who don't get it, and those who what to know how. We are a materialistic generation, its sad.  I have learned to appreciate what I have and get rid of what is taking up space. It is true,  some may find great joy and comfort in a house that is full. But, for me, I appreciate the clear mind that comes with clutter free and easy to find possessions.  When things have their place, it is easy to clean and provides a stress free environment.  Another perk, my kids know where their items belong, which helps with clean up. Start today, enjoy the gratification.

A couple of related articles:

http://www.sheknows.com/home-and-gardening/articles/972039/5-ways-to-keep-your-house-organized

http://www.myoneresolution.com/how-my-homeschooling-wife-keeps-a-stress-free-clean-house/

xo -s