Monday, January 7, 2013

The Note

Ok, my first mini post was a lie, I have a bit of energy left - before I must tip-toe into Chase's room to do his "dream feed" (aka, tube feed a baby while sleeping).  So, here is my official first blog posting, it is what it is!

So, 2012 was exciting in our house - more on that later. The last month the "preteen" transition (from age 12 to 13), has proven bittersweet. Trent is alllllmost a teen. Most days, he is allllllmost living at another address, and I have offered to help pack! Anyhow, its rough most days - other days, he is extremely loving. Confusing? Yes! They apparently refer to this as hormonal? So, I decided to make the switch and treat him a bit older. First, I didn't put his lost tooth under the pillow in November - don't laugh. I threw it away. I'm sure he already knew, still... it was painful. I miss the days when he "booby trapped" his room to capture the tooth fairy in a mason jar. I also have spent every Thanksgiving dinner with him since birth  - this year, I suggested he spend it with his dad. I survived. See the pattern, I am learning to let go.

Then came December, we have a special little red mailbox that I leave a small gift in every day until Christmas - its from an "Elf", remember, don't laugh. We make "reindeer food" to sprinkle on the lawn Christmas eve, he thought it was silly. I was heartbroken, so Chase and I fed the reindeer alone. It was confirmation, it was time.

So, I decided to leave a "note" Christmas day, after all the gifts were open. It went well, he read it..ran around the house screaming " I KNEW IT!!!", I kindly reminded him that he knows the magic of Christmas, and not to share it with anyone else. Then, I said "If you don't believe, you don't receive" (never fails). He quickly got quiet. I have attached the letter, feel free to tuck these words away, and bring them out when its time for you to break the news! He knows the scoop, but next year, not one single tradition will change - he is still my baby!

Dear Trent,


You asked a very good question: “Are you Santa?”

I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.

The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.

I am the person who fills your stockings and mailbox with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her.

I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.

This won’t make you Santa, though. Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.

It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.

Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.With full hearts, like me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.

So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.

I love you and I always will.


Xoxo Mom
 

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